Rindercella     (recite it fast !!!)

Tunce upon a whine, in a coreign fountry, there lived a geautiful birl and her name was Rindercella. Rindercella lived with her mugly other and her two sad blisters. Also, in this same coreign fountry, there lived a very prandsome hince.

Now, this prandsome hince was going to have a bancy fall, so he invited all the people for riles amound, especially the pich reople. So, Rindercella's mugly other and her two sigly usters went out to get some dancy fresses to wear to the bancy fall. But, Rindercella couldn't go because all she had to wear was some old rirty dags. So, she just cat down and scried.

Well she was kitten there scrying, and all of the sudden, there appeared before her, her gairy mudfather. And she waved her wagic mand and there appeared before her a kig boach and hix white sorses to take Rindercella to the bancy fall! "But", she warned her, "you be home before nidmight or I'll purn you into a tumpkin".

So, Rindercella went to the bancy fall and she was det at the moor by the prandsome hince, because he had been watching from behind a widden hindow. And, as soon as they met, they lell in fove! And, nanced all dight, until nidmight. Then, the stock clucked nidmight, and Rindercella staced down the rairs. And, just as she beached the rottom, she slopped her dripper!

Well, the next day, the prandsome hince went all over the coreign fountry looking for the geautiful birl who had slopped her dripper. He came to Rindercella's house and tried it on her mugly other, and it fidn't dit. He tried it on her two sigly usters, and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on Rindercella and it fid dit. So, they were married and lived heavily ever hapwards.

Now, the storal to this mory is:

If you ever go to a bancy fall and want to have a prandsome hince lall in fove with you, don't forget to slop your dripper.


Crash Course in Speaking Chinese

Chinese Phrase

Ai Bang Mai Ne

Ar U Wun Tu

Chin Tu Fat

Dum Gai

Gun Pao Der

Hu Flung Dung

Hu Yu Hai Ding

Jan Ne Ka Sun

Kum Hia

Lao Ze

Lin Ching

Moon Lan Ding

Ne Ahn

Shai Gai

Tai Ne Bae Be

Tai Ne Po Ne

Ten Ding Ba

Wan Bum Lung

Yu Mai Te Tan

Wa Shing Kah

Wai So Dim

Wai U Shao Ting

English Translation

I bumped into the coffee table

A gay liberation greeting

You need a face lift

A stupid person

An ancient Chinese invention

Which one of you fertilized the field?

We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive

A former late night talk show host

Approach me

Not very good

An illegal execution

A great achievement of the American space program

A lighting fixture used in advertising signs

A bashful person

A premature infant

A small horse

Serving drinks to people

A person with T.B.

Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you

Cleaning an automobile

Are you trying to save electricity?

There is no reason to raise your voice


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