REMEMBER WHEN....
COMPUTER WAS SOMETHING ON TV FROM A SCIENCE FICTION SHOW A WINDOW WAS SOMETHING YOU HATED TO CLEAN.... AND RAM WAS THE COUSIN OF A GOAT..... MEG WAS THE NAME OF MY GIRLFRIEND AND GIG WAS YOUR MIDDLE FINGER UPRIGHT NOW THEY ALL MEAN DIFFERENT THINGS AND THAT REALLY MEGA BYTES AN APPLICATION WAS FOR EMPLOYMENT A PROGRAM WAS A TV SHOW A CURSOR USED PROFANITY A KEYBOARD WAS A PIANO MEMORY WAS SOMETHING THAT YOU LOST WITH AGE A CD WAS A BANK ACCOUNT AND IF YOU HAD A 3 1/2' FLOPPY YOU HOPED NOBODY FOUND OUT COMPRESS WAS SOMETHING YOU DID TO THE GARBAGE NOT SOMETHING YOU DID TO A FILE AND IF YOU UNZIPPED ANYTHING IN PUBLIC YOU'D BE IN JAIL FOR A WHILE LOG ON WAS ADDING WOOD TO THE FIRE HARD DRIVE WAS A LONG TRIP ON THE ROAD A MOUSE PAD WAS WHERE A MOUSE LIVED AND A BACKUP HAPPENED TO YOUR COMMODE CUT YOU DID WITH A POCKET KNIFE PASTE YOU DID WITH GLUE A WEB WAS A SPIDER'S HOME AND A VIRUS WAS THE FLU I GUESS I'LL STICK TO MY PAD AND PAPER AND THE MEMORY IN MY HEAD I HEAR NOBODY'S BEEN KILLED IN A COMPUTER CRASH BUT WHEN IT HAPPENS THEY WISH THEY WERE DEAD
Envy government writers? Wish you could compose prose which would convince the reader you are knowledgeable (even if the subject is completely foreign to you)? Simply employ the "Buzzword" writing method. It is simple. There are three columns of words involved, as follows:0. balanced 0. management 0. contingency 1. total 1. organization 1. hardware (or software) 2. integrated 2. reciprocal 2. projection 3. compatible 3. monitored 3. time-frame 4. synchronized 4. digital 4. concept 5. optimal 5. modular 5. programming 6. responsive 6. transitional 6. mobility 7. functional 7. incremental 7. capability 8. parallel 8. third-generation 8. flexibility 9. systemized 9. policy 9. optionsJust select any three-digit number; then use the corresponding Buzzwords from the above grid, e.g., 257: "integrated modular capability." Don't worry if it doesn't make sense to you; it won't mean anything to anyone else either, but they'll think you're just smarter than they are so they won't say anything!! You can propose "systemized reciprocal options" (929) to achieve "optimal transitional flexibility" (568), and your boss will probably promote you!!