A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet".
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
"Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
* You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. * You can live without sex, but not without glasses. * Your back goes out more than you do. * You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. * You buy a compass for the dash of your car. * Your are proud of your lawn mower. * Your good friend is dating someone half his/her age... & isn't breaking any laws. * Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. * You sing along with the elevator music. * You would rather go to work than stay home sick. * You constantly talk about the price of gasoline. * You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. * You make an appointment to see the dentist. * You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. * Neighbors borrow your tools. * People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" * You have a dream about prunes. * You answer a question with, "Because I said so!" * You send money to PBS. * You still buy records, and you think a CD is a certificate of deposit. * The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants. * You take a metal detector to the beach. * You wear black socks with sandals. * You know what the word "equity" means. * You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television. * Your ears are hairier than your head. * You talk about "good grass," and you're referring to someone's lawn. * You get into a heated argument about pension plans. * You got cable for the weather channel. * You can go bowling without drinking. * You have a party, and the neighbors don't even realize it.