Blonde v/s Redhead

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet".

So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

"Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

You're Not a Kid Anymore

* You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
* You can live without sex, but not without glasses.
* Your back goes out more than you do.
* You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into
the room.
* You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
* Your are proud of your lawn mower.
* Your good friend is dating someone half his/her age... & isn't
breaking any laws.
* Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
* You sing along with the elevator music.
* You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
* You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
* You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
* You make an appointment to see the dentist.
* You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
* Neighbors borrow your tools.
* People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
* You have a dream about prunes.
* You answer a question with, "Because I said so!"
* You send money to PBS.
* You still buy records, and you think a CD is a certificate of
* The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of
your pants. 
* You take a metal detector to the beach. 
* You wear black socks with sandals. 
* You know what the word "equity" means. 
* You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch 
* Your ears are hairier than your head. 
* You talk about "good grass," and you're referring to someone's 
* You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
* You got cable for the weather channel. 
* You can go bowling without drinking. 
* You have a party, and the neighbors don't even realize it.

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