May I Have Your Opinion


These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.

A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"

The Saudi says, "What's a shortage?"

The Russian says, "What's meat?"

The North Korean says, "What's an opinion?"

The New Yorker, says, "Excuse me?? What's excuse me?"






Well, it follows...


(A particularly good one for those of you brushing up on the kooky language of English)

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry cleaners depressed?

Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.

On a more positive note though, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted.




Maxims for the Internet Age


1. Home is where you hang your @
2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. 
4. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks. 
5. Great groups from little icons grow. 
6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone. 
7. C:\ is the root of all directories. 
8. Don't put all your hypes in one home page. 
9. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish. 
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse. 
12. The geek shall inherit the earth. 
13. A chat has nine lives. 
14. Don't byte off more than you can view. 
15. Fax is stranger than fiction. 
16. What boots up must come down. 
17. Windows will never cease. 
18. In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal). 
19. Virtual reality is its own reward. 
20. Modulation in all things. 
21. A user and his leisure time are soon parted. 
22. There's no place like http://www.home.com 
23. Know what to expect before you connect. 
24. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice. 
25. Speed thrills.
26. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; 
teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.




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