- There's a fine line between fishing and
standing on the shore like an idiot.
- I don't suffer from insanity;
I enjoy every minute of it.
- Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
- Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.
- Don't worry about the world ending today...
It's already tomorrow in Australia.
- Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Character is what you are.
Reputation is what people think you are.
- Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
- Drive carefully.
It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
- I have several hobbies I enjoy to the fullest. I have a large sea shell collection I keep scattered on all the beaches all over the
Maybe you've seen it?
- A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
- A man usually feels better after a few winks,
especially if she winks back.
- Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
- A baby first laughs at the age of four weeks.
By that time his eyes focus well enough to see you clearly.
- A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.
- The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
- If at first you don't succeed ... well, so much for sky diving.
- The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it.
If you can't ignore it, top it.
If you can't top it, laugh at it.
If you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.
- He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Additions to Murphy's Laws
- "The Law of Volunteering"
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
- "The Law of Avoiding Oversell"
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
- "The Law of Common Sense"
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
- "The Law of Reality"
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
- "The Law of Self Sacrifice
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
- "Weiler's Law"
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
- "Law of Probable Dispersal"
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
- "Law of Volunteer Labor"
People are always available for work in the past tense.
- "Conway's Law"
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on.
That person must be fired.
- "Iron Law of Distribution"
Them that has, gets.
- "Law of Cybernetic Entomology"
There is always one more bug.
- "Law of Drunkedness"
You can't fall off the floor.
- "Heller's Law"
The first myth of management is that it exists.
- "Osborne's Law"
Variables won't; constants aren't.
- "Main's Law"
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
- "Weinberg's Second Law"
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then
the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed
Maxims for the Internet Age
1. Home is where you hang your @
2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly
than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with
a single click.
4. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
5. Great groups from little icons grow.
6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
7. C:\ is the root of all directories.
8. Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
9. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
13. A chat has nine lives.
14. Don't byte off more than you can view.
15. Fax is stranger than fiction.
16. What boots up must come down.
17. Windows will never cease.
18. In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).
19. Virtual reality is its own reward.
20. Modulation in all things.
21. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
22. There's no place like http://www.home.com
23. Know what to expect before you connect.
24. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when
first we practice.
25. Speed thrills.