A LOVE FOR GOOD FOOD
Recently I've been to a host of birthday parties for two- to six-year-olds, and I've been riveted by the reactions of mothers and children to party fare. Some mothers spend the whole party chasing their children away from the table laden with 'orange' chips, sweets and cake - they just don't understand why their children prefer that to the chopped fruit, nuts and yoghurt they've specially bought for them. I've even seen a child hiding under the party table, hovering up dropped chips, cake crumbs, and half-chewed sweets. Now that's scary: a three-year old who has already learned to play hide and sneak with her mum.
Then there are the children, like mine, who don't get much exposure to party food. They spent most of the time hanging around the grub - and then bounce off the walls for the next five hours with sugar overload.
Lastly, there are those who are obviously used to having party food around at home, and they spend very little time at the trough.
And if you watch carefully, you can almost always match mother to child by eating behaviour.
The big question (which even I, as a dietician and mother to two under-fives, struggle to answer) is this: what's the reasoning behind the food choices we make for our children? In other words, do you refuse your children so-called junk food because it's bad for their health or because you don't' want them to grow up overweight and develop eating problems the way you perhaps did?
If you struggle with over-eating, weight-cycling, dieting and bingeing, how do you make sure you don't pass on the same habits to your children? Following these pointers will help.
- Never talk about diets and weight loss or gain (yours or theirs) in front of your children. If you're concerned about your child's weight or eating habits, make an appointment to consult a registered dietician. But don't take your child to the appointment.
- Avoid talking about fattening, low-fat, or low-calorie food to your children. Rather, highlight the healthy benefits, or unhealthy repercussions, of overeating certain foods. For example, tell them sweets and chocolates are not good to eat daily as they are bad for their teeth and energy levels.
- Try not to force your children to clear their plates at every meal, especially if they repeatedly tell you they are full. Generally, children are able to identify fullness, or satiety, as well as real hunger. It's us adults who have lost touch with what hunger and satiety feel like.
Dr. Shelley Hellig, a family doctor and mother of three, says that from the early days of bottle-feeding, we tend to overfeed our children, which can eventually lead to natural feelings of hunger and satiety being overridden.
- If you're worried that your child may be overeating, the following tips may help:
Cook only enough without having leftovers.
Dish up a healthy serving and then pack away the leftovers before sitting down to eat.
Use salad, veggies and soups to fill up on.
- Remember, many children go through podgy or puppy-fat phases before a growth spurt. This is totally normal, and not a reason to panic and put your child on diet. (There's even a scientific term for it: rebound adiposity)
- As a woman who had to work to get back into shape after both my pregnancies, I find it easier not to keep tempting, fattening food like chocolate, biscuits and chips at home. The same should apply to your children - most children get plenty of unhealthy food outside the home from parties, tuckshops, or even their friends' lunchboxes. So at home, only healthy, nutritious snacks should be available. It shouldn't be necessary to limit the quantities of these healthy snacks.
- Clinical psychologist Jill Back suggests that it's a good idea to buy special treats from time to time. Extremes in any aspect of life can be potentially risky, and it's the same with food. As always, balance is key. If you're overly force full about avoiding certain foods, they often become objects of great desire.
- Parties, or eating out, should be a pleasurable time for everyone, but no one needs to overeat. To help prevent this, you and your children should have a nutritious, filling snack like fruit, a sandwich, yoghurt or crackers just before going to the party or restaurant. The idea is to taste the delicious party food rather than filling up on it.
- Try not to satisfy your children's emotional needs with food. If your child is sad or depressed, for some reason, don't offer them a sweet treat to cheer them up. Rather try to get to the root cause of the sadness and address that issue. Self-esteem remains central in dealing with any child, says Back. As parents, we have an enormous responsibility to address this fundamental aspect of all our children - it is their unique sense of self-worth that will determine much of what lies ahead of them in terms of happiness, stability and balance.
- Beware of reward-eating. How many of us sit down at the end of a tiring day with a bowl if ice cream or some other fattening treat? This habit often stems from our own childhoods, when our parents allowed us to have pudding if we ate our vegetables, or a treat if we completed a difficult task. Sometimes a food reward is normal, but it should not become a habit that one cannot function without.
- If you follow a rigid or restrictive diet for whatever reason, try not to inflict the same diet on your children. Offer them as much variety as possible, remembering than a new food often needs to be offered to children 8 to 15 times before it will be accepted.
- If you are worried that you might be inflicting your dietary issues on your children, then it might be time to address them with a registered dietician and/or clinical psychologist.
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